"Strange isn't it. By the schedule around now we should have all witnessed an UFO, and united in researching." "From 'witnessed' it's never gunna happen."
"Your work has been causing a lot of complaints from customers; I'm ordering you to leave immediately." "Oh, up yours! I didn't want to work here in the first place."
"What happened to your nose?" "When I was backing my car up I went to check behind me, convinced that the car window was open, and bashed my face into it!"